sometimes i forget what i need

sometimes i forget
that i am made
of the same stuff
i have always been
made of, and
that the fault line
spanning the center
remains

i forget that i
was not born happy
nor satisfied
nor complete
but have learned to be
through effort
and practice

i went to the mountains today. or rather, t. took me to the mountains today. it was necessary, timely.

we sat by a river rushing fast. rocks were lain on, stepped on, thrown in and watched. the water pushed on and past these rocks, while trees observed us quietly from the banks moving through the wind with that unmistakable dignity. animals could be heard, and occasionally seen, going about their pre-winter busy-ness.

i feel a lot better, in contrast to the last month or so spent simply moving one foot in front of the other. being near water in a forest with someone that i feel connected with ... it is a recipe for healing.

... now to put a string of days together where i feel this whole again.